I'm Back. I'm Fatter. I am Boston Strong.

So, good old Google reminded me the other day that I had this blog and I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand it reminded me that I sucked at continuing to write about running, and continuing TO RUN, but on the other hand, re-reading everything I wrote about how awesome running made me feel and how accomplished I was six years ago, has reinvigorated something within me. So here I am.  
What happened in the MCM 2007?

Quick update on what happened to my running career in 2007.  I started running in the beginning of the year, decided to run the MCM, trained my butt off and broke my foot in the middle of the Parks Half Marathon in September 2007. Yep...BROKE.MY.FOOT. WTF!? It really daggered my spirit. By the time I was able to start running again, my motivation was gone because my fitness was gone. It was getting cold out, mornings were darker and more lonely without the sun, and honestly.... I had really enjoyed drinking beer and sleeping late while I was out of commission. Not gonna lie. I promised myself I'd start over in the new year, and then spring time came and I broke my right ankle playing softball. Yep. BROKE.MY.RIGHT.ANKLE. WTF!? By the time that was haled up and ready to go I was even more unmotivated and out of shape than before, so the excuses piled up. So did the pounds. Another year came and went and I found myself saying - in 2009 I will run again! Then the springtime came and I broke my left ankle playing soccer. Yep. BROKE.MY.LEFT.ANKLE. WTF!? You can see where this is going......  

And now?

About 2 years ago I was walking back from a baseball game (totally sober might I add...not) and tripped over a curb. I apparently dislocated my shoulder out the back as I landed on my outstretched right arm, but had no idea at the time and was actually more concerned about a.) wearing a dress and flashing a few hundred people by adult-sized day of the week underwear (and of course I was wearing Tuesday undies on a Saturday) b.) the fact I was covered in blood and c.) the fact that my wrist and elbow hurt like heck! That quickly subsided bu I noticed over the next few months that my shoulder really began to bother me, especially at work. I finally broke down and went to a doctor and after weeks of painful physical therapy treatments, MRIs and other diagnostic tests, went under the knife for what ended up being rotator cuff damage and a massive labral tear. Greattt. Actually the recover was almost COMPLETELY PAINLESS from the moment I woke up in the OR until just after 2.5 months, when I suddenly started getting really bad pain right where the doctor had screwed my labrum back into my joint. After another few weeks of painful physical therapy, MRIs and other diagnostic tests, we discovered that I somehow retorn the labrum all around the screws and as such went back under the knife on January 2, 2013. he tossed in a few more screws and actually did something called a biceps tenodesis - where they cut the long head biceps tendon from it's insertion into the shoulder socket, and screw it into your humerus. Sounds tasty right? This recovery has ben completely different from the first. I was in horrible pain upon waking up in the OR and I am still struggling almost everyday with limitations, mostly due to pain in the tenodesis site. So here we are 4 months out. I've been playing soccer and generally pissed about the fact that I suck at running all over again. And I got fatter, and Im eating a crapload of carbs and drinking so much beer. I'm freaking 32 years old (almost). I should be at my prime. I should be able to run circles around people on the field, I should be able to look in the mirror and now get discouraged every day that my cloths look terrible on me. I should be able to go out and meet guys without wondering if they are secretly looking for ways to get away from the fat chick. I should let the people who are interested in dating me do it, instead of hiding behind my self consciousness. I should...I should...I should.  

You should tell me where you're going with this

 I should tell you I am from Boston. I should tell you I was TERRIFIED on 4/15/2013 when I had no idea if my family and friends were alive or dead or injured. I should tell you that as ironic as is it is that so many of the injured in Boston lost their legs as a marathon, I am inspired by these people - taking on battles way bigger than I face - for the rest of their lives. I made a decision right there, right then, to run. To run as long as I can, as fast as I can, in tribute to people like Jeff Bauman - subject of the now infamous wheelchair photo showing both of his legs blown off below the leg. People who will never be able to use their legs again to do something as simple as walking, let alone running. Sure it's "cliche" right now as everyone has made a resolution to run Boston or run for Boston or do X for Boston, but at least it's a good cliche, I guess. So here I am... 5 years later and unfortunately about 100 lbs FATTER than I was before when I set out on this journey. I had my first run tonight - day 1 of the couch to 5K program. I felt really, really stupid walking for 5 minutes on the TM (I started at incline 2.5 though!) and then running for just 60 seconds, every 90 seconds, but it will come. Being as fat as I am right now I don't want to overly stress anything at this point (since I am apparently made of glass).

Thanks for staying with me through this insanely long post. I hope you guys will keep me honest and accountable this time around.